Love Thy Neighbor
by mugglemom08
Summary: What happens when a flirty, smart-ass single dad and his twins move next door to a sexy, snarky single mom and her two kids? Life, laughs, and - just maybe - love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Project Team Beta. Thank you, ladies, for your input.**

**A/N: ****This is pretty much the same chapter I posted a million years ago as a WitFit prompt - new material coming next time.**

******A/N 2: Just realized I accidentally posted the unbeta'd version of this chapter, so if you're re-reading for some reason, that's why it looks a little different now.**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

"Mama! A big van just pulled into the driveway next door! Someone's moving in!" My seven-year-old daughter, Alice, came running into the kitchen where I had been baking chocolate chip cookies.

I smiled at her excitement and tried to smooth down her tousled black hair. "Why don't you go get your brother, I'll put some of these cookies on a plate, and we'll go over and say hello."

She took off at a dead run, yelling "Emmett!" at the top of her lungs. I wished I had half of her energy.

I picked up the plate and walked to the front door. The kids appeared a minute later, wondering out loud if they were going to get new playmates.

"Guys? Instead of standing here talking about it, how about we go find out?"

Alice grabbed Emmett's hand and raced out the door. By the time I made it down the front steps, they had already accosted our new neighbor.

"Hi, my name's Alice, and this is my brother, Emmett. We live next door. Here comes our mom. Do you have any kids?"

"Slow down, honey. Give him a chance to answer." I turned to smile at our new neighbor, and the sight took my breath away. He was tall, toned, and had a jaw you could slice cheese on. _Holy cow, his wife's a lucky woman. I bet she's responsible for that sex hair._ I held out my hand. "Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I apologize for my kids-they're loud and rambunctious, but they don't bite. And on the off chance that they do, I promise they're up to date on their shots."

Laughing, he took my hand. "I'm Edward Masen, and no apologies are necessary." He turned toward the house and yelled, "Jasper! Rosalie! Come outside for a minute, please!"

We were joined a minute later by two little blondes who seemed to be close in age to Alice and Emmett. I looked over at my daughter and she was practically vibrating. I put my hand on her shoulder, in hopes of preventing her from overwhelming the other little girl.

"Rose, Jazz, this is Mrs. Swan. She lives next door."

"Ms." At Edward's raised eyebrow, I clarified, "It's Ms. Swan; I'm not married."

"OK, then. Say hi to Ms. Swan, you two." Was it my imagination, or did his eyes light up when I told him I was single?

"Hi, Ms. Swan," they chimed in unison.

"Hi, Rosalie. Hi, Jasper. It's nice to meet you, but please call me Bella." I looked up at Edward. "If it's OK with your dad, that is." He nodded, so I gestured for Alice and Emmett to join me. "This is Alice and Emmett. Guys, say hello to Jasper and Rosalie."

Alice, not surprisingly, took the lead. "Hi, I'm Alice and I'm seven. I like fairies and princesses and anything pink and sparkly. Maybe you can go to the playground with us sometime, and I'll introduce you to our friends. Well, except for Mike Newton. I don't like him since he pushed me off the swing. But Emmett knocked him down and pinned his arm behind his back until he said sorry."

By the time she stopped to breathe, Edward was barely stifling his laughter. "Well, it's a good thing you've got your big brother watching out for you."

Uh-oh.

Alice's hands went to her hips, and she glared up at Edward. "Excuse me, Edward, but he's my _younger _brother. I'm seven and he's five. Just because he's taller doesn't mean he's older."

Before I could reprimand her, Rosalie stepped forward and announced, "I like you. Wanna go see my room?" The girls took off with the boys not far behind.

Edward looked at me, his emerald green eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend her." He chuckled. "She's quite the little firecracker."

"You have no idea. And I'm sorry about that—she's just a little sensitive about her little brother being so much bigger than she is."

"I have the feeling I'll be dealing with that in a few years. Rosalie is two minutes older than Jasper, and I don't think she'll like it when they hit puberty and he's suddenly taller than she is."

Without the buffer of the kids, I suddenly felt self-conscious. I went to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and was reminded of the plate of cookies in my hand. "Oh, I almost forgot—these are for you. I hope you like chocolate chip."

"They're my favorite, thank you." The crooked grin that appeared made my lady bits tingle.

"So what brings you to Forks, Edward? Most people have never even heard of the town."

"I threw a dart at a map of the Pacific Northwest, and this is where it hit."

"Really?" I couldn't imagine being that impulsive.

"No..." he grinned again "...but I had you going, didn't I?"

"Smartass," I said, smacking his arm. _Wait, what am I doing? I'm flirting with a guy who's probably married to someone as beautiful as he is. Stop it!_

"I'm taking over the veterinary clinic for Dr. Gerandy. He and my former boss went to school together, and when he told Maggie he was retiring, she practically pushed me out the door. I grew up in Port Angeles, and I've always wanted a small-town life for my kids."

"Judging by the fact that we haven't seen hide nor hair of any of the kids, I'd say Rosalie and Jasper are going to settle in just fine. I hope that you and your wife like it here, too."

"No wife; it's just the three of us."

All of a sudden it felt twenty degrees hotter and I barely restrained myself from doing a happy dance. _Better find out the details before getting all worked up._

"Is this where we trade war stories?"

"May as well get it out of the way. Ladies first?"

"Long story short, my ex had monogamy issues. The first time he cheated, we went for counseling. The second time he cheated, my friend Jake beat the snot out of him while I burned his clothes in the front yard, and I filed for divorce."

"Not that he didn't deserve it, but I'm surprised the cops weren't called."

"Did I not mention that my father is chief of police here?" I grinned evilly.

"Nice. I'll be sure to stay on your good side."

"Anyway, he sees the kids every other week. He was a lousy husband, but a great father. The only stipulation is that he has to come here to see them. He's living in Olympia now, and I won't allow them to be exposed to his sluts. Luckily, his parents live nearby, so they get to see their dad and their grandparents at the same time. Now, what about you?"

"Tanya decided that motherhood wasn't for her, so she packed up and left when Rose and Jazz were about a year old. They don't even remember her, which I guess is for the best."

"Damn, Edward. That really sucks."

"It's better this way. Can you imagine the kids having to grow up with a mother who didn't want them? My sister, Kate, moved in as soon as Tanya moved out. I honestly don't know what we would've done without her."

"Tell me about it. I don't have any family other than my dad, but the whole town pitched in to help me out."

"See, that's what I love about small towns. It was annoying as a teenager, having everybody know my business, but I can appreciate now."

Before I could respond, Emmett appeared with Jasper in tow. "Mommy, guess what?! Jazz has the exact same scooter I have—he even has Spiderman stickers on it! Is it OK if we ride down to the corner and back?"

"Maybe another time, Em. We've held them up long enough. Why don't you go get Alice so the Masens can finish unpacking?"

"But, Mooooom!"

I knelt down to my son's level. "Emmett, I know you're excited about having a new friend, but the summer has just started. You guys will have plenty of time to play together. And I'll tell you what. As soon as they're all settled in, we'll have a sleepover. Pizza, popcorn, movies...the whole nine yards."

"You'll make chocolate chip cookies too, right?" The pout from a moment ago was gone.

"Of course." I looked up at Edward. "Sorry, I should have asked you first. Do you mind?"

"As long as I can get in on the cookie action, it sounds fine. I'll even spring for the pizza. Better yet, why don't we divide and conquer? I'll take the boys, and you take the girls?"

This suggestion was met with enthusiastic cheering from the boys before they sped off to tell their sisters.

"Speaking of unpacking, do you need any help?"

"My family is on their way, but I appreciate the offer." He nodded at his house. "You know they're not coming out, right? We're going to have to go in after them."

"Separating them is going to be ugly, isn't it?" I sighed. "How about I take the kids and get them out from underfoot?"

He stared at me in surprise. "That would be a big help. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. You'd be doing me a favor, really. If I take just Alice and Emmett home, they're going to mope the rest of the day. When everyone is done unpacking, come on over for dinner. I'll call my dad, and we'll do burgers and dogs on the grill."

"Bella, you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't. I want to. Weren't you just telling me that you liked the way people in small towns help each other out?"

"Yes."

"All right then. This is me helping you out."

He held his hands up in surrender. "Never let it be said that I don't know when to back down. I gratefully accept your offer, Ms. Swan." The smile that accompanied that remark positively dazzled me, something that didn't escape his notice if the widening of said smile was any indication.

"Any allergies I should know about before I abscond with your kids, Dr. Masen?"

"Jasper will try to tell you he's allergic to green vegetables, but no, no allergies or anything."

"Smart aleck like his dad, huh?" I asked, bumping him with my hip as we walked up the sidewalk to his house. "That's good to know."

"Is it now? And why is that?" He bumped me back and then grabbed my arm when my clumsy kicked in. _Damn, I'd been doing so well, too. Of course, we were just standing. Even I can manage that._

"Because I have the feeling that we're all going to be seeing a lot of each other."

The crooked grin reappeared. "I certainly hope so."

**~x~X~x~**

**A/N: I can't apologize enough for how long this has taken; hopefully y'all are still interested in reading this. The next 6 chapters have been written and pre-read, just need to send them off to be beta'd.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Project Team Beta. Thank you, ladies, for your input.**

******~x~X~x~**

******(BPOV)**

I followed Edward into the house, trying—and failing miserably—not to stare at his ass. _Works of art are meant to be appreciated, right?_ Unfortunately, my ass-staring meant I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, so when Edward stopped at the bottom of the stairs, I plowed right into him.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I stammered. I could feel the blush staining my cheeks.

"No big deal. Are you OK?"

"My nose is a little squashed from its abrupt introduction to your back, but other than that and my bruised ego, I'm fine."

"Glad to hear it. But maybe you should save checking out my butt for when you're not moving?" he replied, his eyes twinkling.

His grin turned into full-blown laughter as I stood there doing my best baby-bird-at-feeding-time impersonation. Once he'd stopped chortling, he bellowed up the steps for Jasper and Rosalie, who came running down, closely shadowed by Alice and Emmett. "Would you like to go hang out at Bella's while everything's being moved in?"

Deafening silence, then...

"Yes, Daddy! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" They were so in sync it sounded like one voice.

Alice and Emmett joined in the squealing, and for a good three minutes, Edward and I were trapped in a whirlwind of hugs.

"All right, all right. Get off me, you little monkeys." The twins giggled and clung even tighter to Edward. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you that I expect you to be on your very best behavior while you're at Bella's, do I?"

"No, Daddy. We promise we'll be extra-special good, right, Jazz?" Jasper was nodding before his sister had even finished speaking.

Laughing at the looks of innocence his kids were giving him, I smirked in his direction. "It seems your children like me better than you. Off you go, then, and we'll see you at dinnertime."

He playfully narrowed his eyes at me before grinning again. "Around six, you said?"

I confirmed that he had the right time, told him to come over if he needed anything, and headed for my side of the fence, wondering if I was a genius or a glutton for punishment.

Only time would tell.

******~x~X~x~**

**A/N: The rest of the chapters will probably be short like this (but hopefully that means I'll be able to update faster).**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Project Team Beta (Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12 have agreed to be my permanent betas for the rest of this fic). Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**A/N: Sorry this took so long!**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

Listening to my boy band playlist, I danced around the kitchen, searching for snacks for the kids while they played happily outside. No one had said anything about being hungry, but it had been a couple of hours since Emmett had eaten, so I knew he, at least, would be asking soon. I dreaded the thought of feeding him as a teenager. I'd probably have to get a second job. If things went as I'd hoped, I'd be a published author by then. If not, well, there was always The Eager Beaver in Port Angeles. I snorted at the very thought. I'd probably fall off the stage and break a leg my first night.

After rummaging through the cabinets and fridge, I settled on grapes, strawberries, pretzels, and lemonade. I loaded everything onto a tray and carried it outside to the picnic table. I'd barely set it down before I was surrounded.

"Thanks, Mommy! I was just about to be starving." Emmett smiled up at me.

"You're welcome, sweetie. Just please remember —"

"I know. Only one thing in my mouth at a time."

The others thanked me, too, before falling on the food like sharks on chum. I quickly backed out of the way and headed back to the house.

Once I'd disposed of the strawberry tops, I glanced at the clock and realized that if dinner for fifteen-plus people was going to happen tonight, I needed to get busy. The first order of business was calling Charlie and getting him on board. While I waited for him to pick up, I pulled three pounds of ground beef out of the freezer and put it in the microwave to defrost.

"Chief Swan," came my dad's gruff voice.

"Hi, Dad. I hope you're free tonight, because I've made plans for you."

"Hey, Bells. I was going to take Sue out to eat, but if she can be included in your plans, I'm all yours."

"Sue is always welcome. You know that," I replied before telling him about the Masens and my idea to have them over for a cookout. "I don't want Edward to have to worry about scrounging up dinner on top of everything else. I figured hamburgers and hotdogs would be easy enough to do for a crowd at the last minute. I just need a little help."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Can you—or you and Sue—go to the grocery store for me? Or come here and watch the kids so I can go?"

"I can food shop by myself, smartypants." He paused a beat before reluctantly adding, "As long as I have a list."

"Yeah, but Sue's used to feeding a crowd—a crowd of always-hungry Quileute boys at that—and you're not. There are seven adults next door who will probably be very hungry after a long day of lifting and unpacking. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure Emmett's going through another growth spurt."

"Again? I don't know how you're going to afford to feed that boy in about ten years."

"Tell me something I don't know! I've been toying with the notion of asking Waylon about a job at The Eager Beaver."

Cue the sputtering. Even after five years of marriage and two kids, Charlie still couldn't handle the thought of me anywhere near sex. I thought he was going to stroke out when, shortly after learning where babies come from, Alice informed him that she and Emmett had come "out of Mommy's 'gina." I still giggle when I think about the look on his face.

"I'm joking, Dad," I told him while trying not to laugh. "I'm pretty sure debilitating clumsiness and stripping aren't a good mix."

He snorted. "Very true. You'd fall off the stage within five minutes. If it even took _that _long."

"Very funny. You want the list or not?"

After having Charlie read the list back to me, I hung up and called Sue, who happily volunteered to make some potato salad and baked beans. We chatted for a few minutes before exchanging "I'll see you laters" and getting to work. Fifteen minutes later, I was wrist deep in a bowl of raw hamburger when the back door opened. Alice marched in, the other three trailing behind her like ducklings.

"Mama, we want to play pirates. Is it OK if we take some of the dress-up stuff outside? We promise to be careful with it." Jack, Kack, and Lack stood behind her, solemnly nodding their heads.

"That's fine. Do me a favor, though. Bring in the dishes from your snack, and wash your hands first."

They dust-clouded out the door, their thank-yous shouted over their shoulders. A few minutes later, they were back. After depositing their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, they flew out of the kitchen and stomped up the steps.

_Wait for it. Five...four...three...two...one..._

"MOOOOOOOM! Can you come help us?" How such a tiny little thing could make so much noise was beyond me.

"I'll be right there, Alice," I called up as I washed my hands.

They stood patiently as I tied scarves, straightened eye patches, buckled on scabbards, and clipped on earrings. "You guys go on back outside, and I'll grab the treasure chest and bring it down. Just remember, if you get sand in it, you'll have to help clean it out before it can be brought back in the house."

They ran off and I shook my head, chuckling. Oh, to have that energy. I dug the treasure chest—a wooden box that the kids and I had stained and decorated to look like an old chest—out of the playroom closet and headed downstairs. I made a quick stop to grab my camera before heading to the backyard with the booty.

A picture or twenty later, I left them to their pillaging and went back to my burgers. Just as I'd slid the platter of patties, stacked between layers of wax paper, into the fridge, the front door banged open.

"Hey, Bells, we're here!"

"Pretty sure she figured that out on her own, Captain Obvious," Sue teased. "Your entrance wasn't exactly silent and stealthy." I couldn't help but giggle; she was so good for him. He'd definitely lightened up since they'd started dating.

"Hi, Bella," Sue greeted me as they came into the kitchen, both laden down with bags. "I got the potato salad and beans started, but I figured I'd finish them up here. I hope that's OK."

"Of course it is. There's plenty of room, and it'll be nice to have someone to talk to while I cook. Pick your spot and make yourself at home." I kissed her cheek and started unpacking bags. Charlie, who had gone back to the car to get the rest of the groceries, reappeared.

"I'm gonna get the ice and drinks into the coolers. If you need me to do anything else, just let me know—otherwise, I'll just stay out of the way." He kissed Sue and me and headed out the back door.

He was greeted with cries of "Grampa!" and "Come play pirates with us!" as soon as the kids spotted him. Grinning, Sue looked over at me. "What do you want to bet he gets them to help him fill up the coolers?"

I snorted. "That's a sucker's bet if I ever heard one, Sue Clearwater, and Chief Swan didn't raise no sucker."

Her husky chuckle wrapped around me like a hug. "No, he certainly didn't. Now, do you have a large mixing bowl I can use? The potato salad needs to chill for a few hours, so I better get it finished. Jacob and the boys are coming, and — "

"And if there's no potato salad, Jacob will pout like an overgrown two-year-old. No, the new neighbors do not need to be subjected to six feet five inches of sulking Quileute. So, please, make yourself at home. Anything you need is yours, and if I don't have something, we'll send Dad back to the store."

"Bella, you've got the most well-stocked kitchen I've ever had the privilege of cooking in. I seriously doubt I'll need anything that you don't have or I didn't bring with me. I mean no disrespect, but it's always boggled my mind how Charlie and Renee's kid ended up such an amazing cook."

I was laughing before she finished speaking. "Oh, God, Sue. I _had _to learn how to cook if I wanted to eat more than fried fish, spaghetti, and Mom's...experiments. Pure self-preservation. Dad wept tears of joy when I took over dinner duty. And I got myself out of a lot of trouble when I was younger by keeping him well-fed."

"Charlie's proof positive of the whole 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach' thing." The sly look on Sue's face let me know that I wasn't going to like what she said next. "I guess it's a good thing I can cook, or someone else might be polishing the chief's badge."

"Gross, Sue! Adult or not, I don't want to hear anything that even _hints_ at my dad having a sex life. Now, before you scar me any more, can we get to work?"

"Sure thing, boss. Wouldn't want you to have to break out your billy club."

"Suuuuuuue!" She cracked up at my whining, and all I could wonder was, _Can I drink enough to erase the last five minutes and still be able to cook?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12. Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

Two hours later, the food was prepped and chilling in my refrigerator, with the exception of the baked beans gently simmering on the stove. Sue and I had joined Captain Swan and his rag-tag crew in the yard—after pouring ourselves two well-earned glasses of wine. I snapped picture after picture as Sue smiled, laughed, and occasionally snorted at Charlie's antics. He was a great dad, but he was a phenomenal grandfather. Being free of the role of disciplinarian had unleashed his inner child, and I swear that sometimes when he was playing with Emmett and Alice, he truly forgot he was an adult. And watching him now, you'd never know that only two of the kids were his grandchildren.

Nudging Sue, I said, "You know, you two aren't so old that you couldn't have a baby or two together."

I probably should've timed that better, because the mouthful of moscato she'd just taken ended up sprayed all over me. We stared at each other for a split second before dissolving into hysterics.

"I'd say I'm sorry, " Sue choked out, "but ... "

"I know—I totally deserved it," I finished for her.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have no desire to raise any more children. I'm perfectly content being Grammy Sue. But please, I beg you, say that to your father sometime—just to see the look on his face."

"I'll have to wait until he recovers from me joking about becoming a stripper, but consider it done," I replied with a snort. At her confused look, I filled her in on my conversation with Charlie this morning. By the time I was done, we both had tears running down our faces.

"Do I need to cut you two off?" Sue and I turned toward Charlie's voice, and it was my turn to do a spit-take. His crew had apparently mutinied, because he was blindfolded and tied to a tree. And they're nowhere to be found. I started to rise, but giggles coming from the playhouse let me know the crew hadn't run off.

Sue got herself under control first. "It doesn't look like you're capable of doing any such thing, Cap'n."

His mustache twitched as he fought a grin at the predicament he'd found himself in. "I didn't think they'd run off and leave me like this. I also thought I'd be able to get loose. Who the heck taught them how to tie knots so well?"

"YOU!" Sue and I yelled in unison.

"Huh. I guess I did," was his clever reply. Then, a little louder, "I surrender! I'll give you the treasure map and help you find the chest. Just please, untie me!"

Moments later, he was surrounded by four little pirates with their swords drawn. Rosalie stepped forward and spoke for the group, "Give us the map first, and then we'll let you go." Some good-natured haggling and threatening followed, but Captain Swan capitulated in the end.

"Hang on!" I shouted as they were about to untie the ropes. I snatched my camera off the table, and ignoring Charlie's protests, snap off at least a dozen shots. "OK, guys, cut him loose! While you're off on your treasure hunt, I'll go make lunch."

Sue followed me into the house, and in no time at all, we were all stuffing our faces at the picnic table. The kids made short work of their food then headed inside to play. Charlie stretched out in the hammock he'd bought for "me" as a housewarming present, and the minute the dishes were washed, Sue joined him. I sat down with my laptop to write, but couldn't stay focused. I eventually gave up and opened Pinterest. As I pinned pictures of crafts I'd never make and clothes I'd never be able to afford, my thoughts drifted to my new neighbor. There was no denying I found him attractive, but it was ridiculous the way I was watching the clock. I was acting like a schoolgirl the night of her first date. This wasn't a date, it was just a friendly gesture to welcome him to Forks. I'd have done it for anyone who moved here.

_Uh-huh. Then why are you wondering if you should change and fix your hair before he gets here?_

Damn. I really hated it when my conscience was right.

**~x~X~x~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12. Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

By five forty-five, the grill was hot, the beer was cold, and Sue was halfway to being toasted. Charlie blamed me, but how was I supposed to know she was such a lightweight? We'd only had two—okay, three—glasses of wine, and I was fine. Whatever. She was of age, and her designated driver was the chief of police himself. We had started bringing the food outside, and I'd just rescued the bowl of potato salad from her and told her to sit her tipsy ass down before she broke something when people started arriving.

And by 'people', I meant half of La Push—and they all came bearing food. Between tonight's leftovers and the meals that were sure to start showing up on his doorstep, Edward wouldn't have to go grocery shopping or do any real cooking for a while. Mrs. Cope—who despite living in Forks for fifty-some years, still considered herself a Southerner—would probably be at the front of the line with her fried chicken, peach cobbler, and sweet tea.

When I went inside to get bowls for the chips that Jake, Quil, and Embry had brought—every bag available at the Buy Rite, it seemed—I called up to Alice and Emmett that their 'uncles' were in the backyard. They flashed by me with the twins hot on their heels. I looked out the kitchen window just in time to see my kids tackle Jake to the ground. I heard Charlie remind Alice to introduce her new friends to her uncles, and once that was out of the way, a very loud game of tag began.

Stacking the bowls of chips on top of each other, I carried them out to the table where Emily Uley was taking the lids off a veggie platter and a fruit salad. I gave her an air-kiss as I set the chips down and kept going. "I'll give you a real hello in a minute," I called over my shoulder as I headed for the grill where her husband, Sam, was talking to Charlie and Billy.

I gave Billy a kiss on the cheek before turning to Sam. "Thanks for coming. Now, I'll take those, please," I said as I all but snatched his and Emily's nine-month-old twin boys away from him. My arms full of baby, I walked back over to Emily at the picnic tables.

"OK, which one is which?" I asked, nuzzling their cheeks and getting wet, sloppy kisses in return. "No, don't tell me." I looked at the matching set of adorable for a moment, scrutinizing their features. "This one," I hefted the twin in my right arm, "is Paul. And that makes this little guy," I bounced the one on the left, "Jared."

"Very good. If you'd gotten it wrong, I was revoking your baby-snatching privileges," Emily snarked. "Let me know when you need me to take one."

"How about now? What the heck are you feeding them? Lead pellets? I can't feel my arms."

"Lightweight," she muttered after snorting. Her eyes went over my shoulder as she took Jared from me. "Holy sex on legs, is that your new neighbor?"

**~x~X~x~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12. Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

I didn't have to look to know that it was, indeed, Edward she was talking about, but only a fool would pass up the chance to drool over the hotness that is Edward Masen, and Charlie didn't raise no fool. I turned around, and sure enough, Edward was leading his family through my back gate. The twins immediately scrambled up from where they had Jacob pinned to the ground, and sprinted toward their father. I took the opportunity to satisfy Emily's curiosity.

"Yep, that's him. Pretty, isn't he?"

"You're gonna hit that, right? Because if you're not, I'm asking Sam if he can be my freebie."

Carefully switching Paul to my left arm, I reached over and flicked Emily's earlobe. "You're such a slut!" I exclaimed, ignoring her yelp. "I just met the man. I don't know yet if I'm going to 'hit that'. But either way, he is not going to be your freebie."

Emily bitch-browed me and asked, "If you're not planning to get some of that, why shouldn't I? And that hurt, you bitch!"

"Because he's my neighbor, and it would make things awkward."

"Whatever. You're gonna be thinking about him tonight when you're jilling off—don't even try to deny it."

Since I couldn't tell her she was full of shit without lying, I yelled for her husband. "Sam!" His head snapped in our direction. "Get over here, and get your wife under control, would you?" Bastard had the nerve to laugh before going back to his conversation with my dad and Billy.

Heaving a sigh so deep it ruffled Paul's hair, I pointed a finger at Emily. "Since I can't get out of introducing you to Edward, I'm going to threaten you instead. If you do or say anything to embarrass me, the video from Cancun is going to hit YouTube."

Emily paled before narrowing her eyes at me. "You play dirty, you know that? Why I'm friends with you is beyond me."

"Oh, whatever, Pocahontas. You know you love me. Now, do you want to meet him or not?" I walked off, not waiting for her response.

**~x~X~x~**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12. Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**~x~X~x~**

**(BPOV)**

By the time I reached Edward and his family, Rosalie and Jasper had run off to join my little monsters, who were currently trying to talk Quil into burping the alphabet. I have such classy friends. And kids.

Shaking my head, I stopped in front of Edward, who was looking at me with his head cocked to the side.

"You know the song 'Friends in Low Places' by Garth Brooks?" I asked.

"Um, yes?" His furrowed brow was way more adorable than it should have been.

"Let's just say that some days I think he wrote it about my family and friends." No sooner had the words left my mouth than Quil gave in to the kids' pleading. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Edward's family's reactions. "I'm sorry, Edward. They're usually better behaved. Well, no, they're not, but they don't usually go full Monty the first time they meet someone. You must think we're a bunch of — "

"Bella." The laughter in Edward's voice caught me off guard, and I forgot that I was playing if-I-can't-see-you-you-can't-see-me. "It's OK—Jasper does the same thing. And he was taught by his Uncle Garret. The same uncle who has now joined your friend in entertaining the kids." He put his hands on my shoulders and gently spun me around. Sure enough, his brother and Quil were taking turns 'alphaburping' and all four kids were in hysterics.

An elfin redhead rolled her eyes and fought unsuccessfully to keep a grin off her pierced crimson lips. "And he's been doing so well in public lately."

Edward snorted before making the introductions. "This is Charlotte, Garrett's wife. She seems normal, but clearly there's something wrong with her, since she married him." He tried to dodge out of the way of her slap but didn't quite make it. "And this is my sister Kate, and her husband Liam. And my parents, Liz and Ed. Everyone, this is Bella Swan."

"I swear he wasn't raised by monkeys," Liz promised. "Although he may have been dropped on his head more times than I know about." This last was said with a glare at the older version of Edward standing next to her.

"There may have been a time or two I forgot to mention." He winked at his wife before turning to me, "Lovely to meet you, Bella."

"It's nice to meet you, too," I said with a chuckle, shaking the hand he offered. _I see Edward got not only his stunning good looks, but also his sense of humor from his father._

Ed's twitching lips and raised eyebrow were the only clues I needed. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Liz, bless her heart, came to my rescue, linking her arm with mine and leading me away from the smirking Edwards. "The Masen men really do a number on a girl's equilibrium—and verbal filter. I remember the first time I met Ed's father—who, but for the hair, looked almost exactly like Edward does now—my eyes bugged out of my head. I looked at my future mother-in-law and blurted out the first thing that came to mind."

"Which was?"

"No wonder you have six children."

"You didn't!"

"I did. Ed, Randall—that's his father's name—and I were all mortified. Ed's mother Maggie, however, whisked me off to the kitchen and told me that I was but the newest in a long line of women who've made fools of themselves over the Masen good looks." She glanced over at me and continued, "You, Charlotte, and I will have to do lunch sometime so she can tell you her story. You think you were embarrassed just now? Wait until you hear what she did."

Feeling the cloak of mortification slip from my shoulders, I turned and motioned Edward and the rest of his family forward with a jerk of my head. _I think we're all going to get along just fine._

**~x~X~x~**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. If they were, Bella would've made Edward grovel at the end of New Moon, Edward would've given Bella hell for kissing Jacob in Eclipse, and Renesmee - if she existed at all - would've had a normal name.

**MrsSpaceCowboy and aerobee82 pre-read and encouraged me to do this; they have my undying love and gratitude. Beta'd by Jcat5507 and Claireybeary12. Thank you, ladies, for your input - any remaining mistakes are my own.**

**A/N: **Good grief, has it really been almost a month? That was not my intention, and I hope a longer-than-usual chapter makes up for the delay.

**~x~X~x~**

**(EPOV)**

"Daddy, guess what? Alice has a Build-A-Bear unicorn, too! Will you lift me over the fence so I can go get mine?"

"Hey, Dad? Can you lift me over the fence so I can get my army men?"

"'Scuse me, Edward, I acciden'ly threw the Frisbee into your yard—can you lift me over?"

"Edward, would you mind lifting me over the fence? I think I left my ring on Rose's window seat."

Each of the four kids had asked me at least once to lift him or her over the fence separating Bella's backyard from mine, and it was taking a toll on my back. A situation like ours was obviously not a consideration when the fences were installed, as the gates were on the far side of both houses. It was a quiet, safe neighborhood—or so I'd been told—but no one wanted the kids out of sight for the time it would take to cross both front yards. I could've walked with whichever one needed access to my house or yard, but that would've made it a little difficult to get to know everyone at the party. And, I'm not gonna lie, I was beat and not really inclined to keep walking back and forth.

Bracing my hands on my lower back, I slowly leaned backward until something popped, then bent and touched my toes. _Oh, that's better. _

I turned at the sound of my brother's laughter and glared at him. "You could offer to help, you know. At least with Jazz and Rose...although Emmett and Alice seem to have warmed up to you just fine."

"Ahh, but I haven't been asked, baby brother," Garrett is quick to point out. "Besides, this is bound to earn you some brownie points with your sexy new neighbor. You could even get a back rub out of it."

Before I could respond, Charlotte smacked him upside the head. "Just because you're a complete scoundrel, doesn't mean Edward is."

"Thank you, Charlotte." I stuck my tongue out at Garrett as I pulled her in for a one-armed hug. "I knew there was a reason you're my favorite sister-in-law."

"I'm your _only_ sister-in-law, dork," she responded as she elbowed me in the ribs.

Bella arrived just in time to hear her last remark. "See, this is the stuff I'd have missed out on if not for Jake, Quil, and Embry. No one abuses you quite like a sibling." Our confusion must've been apparent, so she elaborated. "Charlie and Billy—Jake's dad—have been friends since the beginning of time, and I spent a good chunk of my childhood in La Push while they were fishing. Jake and I grew up together, and he, Quil, and Embry are my brothers in everything but blood."

"So they'll insult you and pick on you, but kick the ass of anyone else who dares?" Garrett wanted to know.

"Exactly. And they're doing their very best to be good uncles by letting Alice and Em do all the things I won't." She shook her head in mock exasperation. "And speaking of my kids, Edward, you don't have to keep lifting them over the fence. I can imagine how much Emmett alone must be straining your back."

"It's not a big — "

"I could put a gate in," Garrett interrupted. "I could come next weekend and have it done in a few hours."

I opened my mouth to decline his offer, but another twinge in my back had me closing it again. Looking down at Bella, I asked, "Whaddaya think?"

"I think that if today's any indication of how much time our kids are going to be spending together, a gate would be a very good thing. They'd be free to play in both yards without constantly having to ask to either go around or be lifted over." She turned to face Garrett. "If you can get me an estimate sometime this week, I'll make sure I have cash for you."

The appalled look on Garrett's face was priceless. "I'm not going to charge you!" He put his finger on her lips—looked like Bella had acquired another brother—when she started to protest. "One, it was my idea. Two, I have all the tools I'll need. The only things I'll need to buy are hinges and a latch, and those won't be more than twenty or thirty dollars. If it makes you feel better, consider it my housewarming gift to Edward."

"But...you'll be giving up part of your weekend—"

"To do something I enjoy doing? To spend time with my brother and his kids? To get to know you and your kids better?"

Blushing adorably at his last sentence, Bella held her hands up in surrender. "OK, OK. I know when to concede. But I'm feeding you, and I won't take 'no' for an answer" she said, eyes narrowed.

"And I won't argue with you. Money I can get anywhere, but a good home-cooked meal is a little harder to come by."

Charlotte's elbow got him right in the solar plexus before she stalked off, Garrett trailing behind her like a little puppy and calling her name.

"I take it Charlotte doesn't cook?" Bella asked me, giggling as she watched my brother try to cajole his wife into forgiving his dumbass remark.

"She burns water." When Bella cocked an eyebrow, silently insinuating that I was exaggerating, I continued. "It's only been in the past year or so that she's been allowed to use the microwave unsupervised. No lie, she destroyed three of them the first six months they were married. Garrett doesn't care, but he loves to tease her about it. The only reason I can come up with for her being so upset is that she thinks you'll think badly of her."

"What? Why would I do that? Just because she can't cook and women are 'supposed' to? Please. My mother couldn't even make ice. I asked Mrs. Cope to teach me how to cook when I was twelve because it was either that, or eat nothing but spaghetti and fried fish the rest of my life. Fortunately, I ended up not only being good at it," she bit her bottom lip and reddened before continuing, "but really enjoying it."

"Lucky me," I replied and was delighted to see her face get even pinker. "Anyway, not that you're anything like my evil ex-wife, but Tanya used to do stuff like cook a ridiculously complicated meal when my family was coming for dinner, then go on and on about how simple it was. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't realize what she was doing until Kate pulled me aside one night and gave me an earful."

Bella's eyes widened and then narrowed. "I didn't think it was possible to like her any less, but I guess I was wrong. One of these days, you're going to have to tell me how someone like you ended up with someone like her."

"You'll have to get me drunk—and promise not to take advantage of me—first, but you're on." I gave her a wink and a grin, and she snorted before heading toward the picnic tables.

"Come on, let's go get you some food before you use up your whole supply of charm in one night, Doc."

"No worries, Miss Swan. I'm a Masen, and the Masen men have been very capably charming the pants off their women since the beginning of time."

The look on her face—like she didn't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed—had me replaying what I'd just said. It was my turn to blush, but before I could stammer out an apology, she patted me on the cheek, stood up on her tiptoes, and whispered in my ear, "You're cute, but you'll have to try harder than that."

_I was in so much trouble._


End file.
